Kevin here!

Its 6:33 pm of 7 Jan 2026. I just came from the aangan of our apartment after playing badminton with the people who play there (first time for me with them). I was reminded by my neighbour kid (5th class) that I have that GGE problem.  I'm not gonna say my real problem here, so the code for that problem is GGE. I expect my future self to understand the meaning. I don't want you to guess it, ok? so stop trying. I again got so embarrassed but had all those emotions covered with a neutral (serious) face. Oh God. I didn't expect this problem to be clear to others that nearly all people I meet must have sensed it, though only some have pointed it out coz majority understands it will be embarrassing for me. I have to do things to fix it to the extent I can. I will search for its solution on AI apps and google. I have to wake up early tomorrow, fix my wardrobe, clothes everything. I'll have to do all these things which I thought I would do after finishing syllabus till Nov or ...

 It is 1:18 am of 7th Jan 2026. I am able to understand now why building a new house and wanting to send grandpa only a little away from us is important. A few weeks ago or months ago I did not agree with the decision of building the new house just because you have to keep grandpa little way from you. It didn't make any sense to me then but now I understand why it's important and probably the best way considering our condition.  It all started when I was watching semiconductors videos of Tanuj Bansal for revising that chapter. I was going to sleep I was sleepy. First I started reading the PDF notes class notes of that chapter of TBS but I realised after reading 2 pages that I forgotten many parts of that chapter may be because it was there THEORETICAL so I started watching the videos and I thought I would skip parts and fasten the process of revising that chapter even though I'll be watching videos and for that I open YouTube which I had uploaded it the previous year, oh no...

 Nobody's there for me to play badminton when I want. Its not other peoples' fault. Why do I get so addicted to some of the things!!!! It sucks many times.

About to be 5 pm 13 Dec 2025 Ab to har baar same chiz soch soch ke thak gaye hai ki "kuch saal ya mahino me apna income source + khana pina sab khud arrange kar ke alag ho jayege fir boht saal baad uss daayan se badla lenge".  Vo har baar hamko blackmail karti hai ham sabko. Khana nahi banayegi sab relatives ko call karne lage gi. Boht buri hai vo. Ham itna ho jaane ke baad bhi kisi ko uska asli chehra bata nahi pate hai. Or wo daayan... Ye sab document karte karte sis saw private vids on my yt uploaded. Though she says she didn't and won't see vids just saw thumbnails, i do fear when i write this that the world can see my documented things. I have an idea to write and record personal emotions somewhere. Maybe i can create my own hash and no one will know how to decrypt the texts or other things in it. I can also use it for my passwords then. 

Today was my AIATS 2 (AIAI haha remember?) i came home and just like previous two times i went there for test, I came back with a different mood which helped me start contemplating about the idea i'll be discussing in this post.  (thinking where to start from) See, I came home with Aakash's books and t-shirt. I opened the book. It was ncert something part 1 landscape orientation wala book. I was discussing and exploring that book with my sis till I saw one of the toppers' pictures (not one of the bigger ones but a smaller picture coz that guy wasn't under top 10 huh) and I remembered him from Md Maaz Rajput's Video in MAMC . He had AIR 69 . His name was S. Mittal . Since Aakash had written 'Classroom program' under his name and I knew from the earlier video that he said he only took tests from other coachings I searched more about him apart from thinking that all these toppers would be getting so rich after cracking such exams. His YT channel has 91 subs...

8 AM 8 Nov 2025.  I have found out some reasons disabling mr to study for NEET. 1. Mere me motivation/greed/discipline hona chahiye. 2. Resources like sunlight or good artificial light, comfortable chair table, stable internet (if required), all books and things needed should be at one place, my table. 3. People at house should be sleeping or away from house.