Kevin here!

Hello. I am again at my lowest point. This picture I’ve attached depicts my current state. It’s 24th February today and NEET 2025 is in May. Have gone through this Up and down, so many times in the 2 year journey. I feel like my emotions resemble the graph of sin theta now. It some times hits +1 (like when I got 688), some times 0, sometimes -1 (right now).  Feelings feelings feelings, hormones hormones hormones, brain I’m not giving time to study. I’m distracted for about a week now. I think overthink act less. I don't ask God for anything usually. Times like these make me beg God. This is the same situation where I was a year ago. After completion if class 11th syllabus by my coaching. This year, I had decided not to repeat it. I was so cautious from the beginning. But here I am, again after 12th syllabus completion.  Its my fault. My mind is untamed. My bad Kevin takes over. Me kills me. It is me who has to work and lift myself up. If I delay more, I, inspite of studying ri...

As told to me by my sis later, dad woke up on 5th feb and went to ask mom to check if the seat was confirmed or RAC. Mom probably didn't know how to do it.  I remember Dad waking me up in the morning asking to check the same. My heart was so so so surprised and happy too while telling dad that ITS CONFIRMED!! (not RAC) It showed coach S3 and seat no. too. All three of them were given upper berth. Dad went to tell mom and sis, woke them up. We (mom) had packed the bag the previous day thinking they might go that day only, so now bags were mostly packed and ready to go. It was around 6am. Dad ordered us to not brush (time waste). The previous day, after thinking for some time, I had decided to not go to leave them till the station. So I was supposed to leave them till the metro station. We locked the gate. We went out. It was dark. Went to metro station. Dad booked tickets there. Because of our habit of going in a group of 4, Dad mistakenly bought 4 tickets (non-refundable) 40rs tick...

 We woke up at time I don't remember. We discussed what we had to do that day, ate food, etc.  Dad went somewhere. Came back. We decided to go & visit one of our relative's (living in Delhi) place. We had some heated arguments along the way, till we sat in the auto. We went to the place and entered their home in afternoon/evening. After some time of talk between them and my parents, sis and I were made to sit in one of the rooms there. In order to conserve my energy for night as I had to upload photos to gDrive & do some other stuff, I tried sleeping there (sis didn't want that). I half asleep and sis was also trying to sleep now. The elders decided to go out in car and visit some places, they took sis too. I wasn't completely asleep when she went. I still tried sleeping and slept for a few hours. After some time, Woke up but still tried to sleep but now I couldn't sleep and went out of the room and met cousins ( didn't talk much). I was bored and had no...

 It is Feb 1, 10:12pm , I'm in "Shramjeevi exp", writing this when all others have started to sleep. My sis sleeping in front of me and mom, dad behind me. Let me tell you the story till here. Its 31st Jan 2025. Our tickets got converted from WL~20 to RAC just few days ago.  Today I have my coaching's NEET mock test from 2pm to 5pm (NEET changed to 3hrs). Since syllabus of 11th is not revised, I thought it will just be like previous few tests. I checked the syllabus only to find out that this test has 12th majority with only 2 chaps of 11th Zoo. I had a mixed feeling about my concentration and speed during test. So I need to revise my syllabus fast otherwise i'll keep giving me and my family this excuse for exam going bad. I gave the test, I should've scored ~650 as it was with 12th majority. But I lost to time and I could attempt only 6,7 random questions in entire physics part. Okay I'll try to improve in Delhi where I'll be giving mocks online. I ca...

 I have to go to Delhi for 2 months for an important work. The last time we went (the only time for me and sis till now), I was in 4th/5th class I guess. We still remember things we did there, food we ate, places we went to, etc. It was fun. It is 8-9th Jan 2025 My family after a long and exciting discussion, decided to cancel the 2 train tickets to Delhi we already booked only a few days ago (which was in WL). It happened mainly because it was a wish of my sister. I wanted that too a little but thinking of how much havoc it would cause in home and my pet dog's condition alone (wid Grandparents), I was convinced that just me going with mom was a better plan.  Now all 4 of us were going to Delhi. On the night of that day when we booked that "Shramjeevi exp", I had a realisation of my mistake of not booking the tickets early and the competition due to overpopulation, people of India (including me 😭) were facing. I slept late as usual but in a bad condition filled with regr...