Kevin here!

 Its 10:30 pm 29 sept 2025. Sis told me what talk dad had with her this morning when I was sleeping after using PC for whole night and evening of the previous day. She told me dad is strict and maybe what happened on the morning of hindi exam when I was in 3rd or 4th class is gonna repeat. That time he had done something with wires and cables of the old TV that we had (grandpa uses it now). So from that time I couldn't watch TV for a long time. He was memorizing me hindi that morning and was angry on me for not finishing it on time. 10-15 mins ago from now he warned me with a strict and kind of rude voice to focus on studies now.  I understand where he's coming from. I don't wanna blame him. I feel like blaming myself and the situations around me.  Chalo, all you have control over is you yourself. There's no angel or heavenly being coming to help you. There's no magic. It's pure control and focus that can save you. Things will be worse or better after some month...

Its 4 am 27 Sept 2025. My grandpa came back from the place he went to. He came at around 3 PM on 26 Sept 2025. It was a hot and sunny day and dad was sweaty asked me why we don't keep cold water in fridge. He gave baba his meal from kitchen.  The problem for me now is: How will I use my PC for the entire time now? I can't use in grandpa's room coz he will atleast keep asking things and talking little little stuff with me if he doesn't ask me to shut it down and study which I think he will, he will ask me to go study, why playing games.  Dad will be having holiday in office till 5th Oct. So he will be staying at home for most part of the day. If it was normal day where mom and dad were absent in noons I could've shifted the PC in their room after giving some excuse to grandpa. But thats not possible in for this coming week.  I thought let it be I can use PC whole night or part of night in sis's room with door locked and keep PC back to its position in grandpa...

 Its 11:25 pm 22 sept 2025.  I am just coming from the village where my grandpa and great grandma were sent to. While going I thought she was dead. But no, she didn't die but was seriously ill. She had some foamy thing coming out of her mouth earlier that day. Now she has been taken away to her original village. She must feel happier now. But my grandpa.. he's in that place all alone now, with less resources and living a bad life. It's like dad's working but is unable to improve quality of his father's life. All this coz of one lady.  I liked going there and seeing so many familly members in same house. I also liked talking to my 2 cousins.  Talking about my life right now, I have completed React nearly 3-4 vids left and I'm not continuing it right now. I'm learning python fast and also giving my time to grow my yt channels and corresponding ig pages. I just hope it gives me monkey quick at least enough for me to get independent. After its completed I will f...

1:55 Pm. Sept 19 2025. Happy belated bday.  I was fully focused on NEET related study this time last year. But many things are different this year than previous one.  First is all the fights that have happened and a family member going away to live somewhere else.  Second is my life related. Since the last few weeks, I am ignoring my studies. 2-3 days ago I was giving my time to React. Haven't completed it yet only 4-5 vids left in chai aur react playlist. I thought I was up-skilling in coding which will lead to money in future to fix my family issues atleast. But after thinking for a while in night about ways of earning I've got in online world are limited (talking about real income money). There are many hard ways to earn online for me. But there are some easy ways like showing my neet life in yt and same in ig. That's easy. I have decided to shoot videos from an angle that doesn't reveal my face.  For for doing this YT vlogging thing, I need a setup in my PC. A se...

 I am stuck.  I sit to study then think of doing some code and then mom starts fight talks or actual fight and then i tell myself studying is the escape and then switch off computer then go and keep thinking about  mom family and deal with my anger then i sit down to study telling myself this is the key to future.  Ah mann im distractedddd Some one save me.