Talk 10 Oct 25

It's 2:42 AM of 11 Oct 2025.
Lying in my grandpa's room on floor with mosquitoes disturbing me. I was reading coordination chem PDFs of yakeen 2.0 2025 MD sir.

Parents planned to send me to G. Village. I don't like that idea and they know it. What they don't know is the problem I'll have there. I'll again struggle in online vs offline study coaching. I'll have difficult time there. And ofc not less fees will be demanded by them. God. All this is coz of mom. She is the one behind all this. She's evil. If she wouldn't have made this house a hell for last 4-5 months, everything would've been good, my sis would not have a huge backlog and I would probably be scoring atleast 650. She distracted me. I had to find ways of getting independent and earning. This is what has resulted in low scores of mine in mocks. Let's see what happens.

 I'm powerless. In a negotiation, there is a powerful party which controls the rules in negotiations and there is the weak party which has to follow what the powerful one says. I am the weak one now, while my parents are powerful. If I would've had scores in Allen or/and Aakash tests, either they would not have planned sending me to G. Village or I would've been able to keep my points more firmly in front of them. I'm weak. So I'm silent. But I am working to change my condition. 

Today I didn't watch reels or shorts without struggling to control myself. It was easy. Maybe because today I didn't have good opportunities to use phone. Let's see how this goes. I'm not gonna take further inputs through social media. The inverter got repaired today too, coz it had some parts burnt yesterday night at 9 PM when mom and sis were going out and I was using pc which got turned off suddenly 😭 I was editing the Aloo Khaoge meme. I didn't wanna check the analytics of it but I later did a while ago. It didn't get many views as I had expected. But I think it's funny. I also added the brand name watermark changing its position at various intervals in that short/reel so other memers can't copy like they did with MR sir meme.

Btw I completed 2 PDFs, each in 1hr approx. Too much time taken. Will have to work on it and my focus.

Chalo yarr sone jaana hai.
Good night it's 3:05 am.




20 Oct 2025 (main diwali): 

Wo **** aurat ko ham man me boht gaali or jo kuch kharab shabd hm aaj tak seekhe h sab dete h bohot proudly. Bekar aurat. Jaldi picha chhurana h. Abhi we were sitting on dining table and sofa and watching tv with dad and asshole lady came and bolti h "hostel kab jayega" uski aisi ki taisi jaldi se jaldi test me 650+ or fir 700+ laayege muh me test ka marks ghusayege or ulta latka ke danda se maar maar ke bulwayege bol *** kitna marks aaya h mera last test me, or zor se bol. Pighalna nahi h kabhi. Usko sab ke saamne beizzat karna h. Neet me agar exceptional kuch kiye to mic pe beizzati karege 1000 log ke saamne tab maza aayega uss ***** ko.

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